1 April 2008
The Board of Trustees of the Gullible Indians International School makes the following announcements, with immediate effect :-
Pupils to Advisors Ratio: To maintain the pupils to advisors ratio in spite of increasing numbers of pupils, GIIS has successfully bid for all members of the Indian Cricket Team to be on our Advisory Board. This will bring the pupils to advisors ratio in line with CBSE Guidelines.
Fee Hike and Means Testing: We have received only 32 e-mails from parents regarding fee hike. Only 172 parents are affected, according to the survey conducted by a well known fake website. Parents are requested not to visit the fake website. Some parents have recommended 31% fee hike, which we will consider soon after the GIIS schools in Malibu and Lichtenstein are announced. Meanwhile, we have introduced financial aid for the 32 parents who wrote in, through "means testing". This will make use of GIIS patent-pending technology to calculate the fees to be withdrawn through GIRO. As you know, compulsory GIRO is a facility offered by GIIS to save you from making tough decisions every term. According to the new patent pending technology, fees will be withdrawn in proportion to the average balance existing in the parent's salary account, on 'salary day'. To understand how this works, please check your account often.
Quality Measures: We are a result oriented organization. Our advisors have determined that it is far more effective to increase the quality of results, than to increase the quality of teaching. So a part of the fees paid by you will be used to fly in top students from schools in India just in time for writing the CBSE examinations. They will be "appointed" as GIIS student ambassadors and will work on keeping the grades up. All pupils are required to give way to them at the canteen queues. Kindly await the first consignment of students before raising any issues about academic quality.
Refund of non-refundable deposits: Any parent whose child is likely to score less than 50% in CBSE exams as a result of excessively long stay at GIIS, will be considered for return of non-refundable deposits, if they agree to withdraw their child 6 months before CBSE exam date or earlier. Those who can produce proof of admission into a rival school will be paid a 20% bonus extra as a token of our appreciation.
1. This is a computer generated letter. No signature is required.
2. In line with new feedback processes, all feedback will be processed by our dedicated feedback computer which is equipped with a 200 GB Recycle Bin. Kindly do not send email to the Principal or Chairman for any matters.